Civilization is by far my favorite game and I can't wait for the newest version to come out on the 24th. It was a lot of fun writing this update and I hope more than a handful of nerdy strategy gamers like it.
Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley Doesn't Own a Computer
My sources at SA tell me that the new front page whipping boy, Terrorsaurus, doesn't even own a computer. When he writes his articles, he is forced to go to an Internet cafe and pay by the hour. Of course this explains the shoddy and rushed workmanship on his updates. I tattled to Lowtax and whispered in his ear that his these are good grounds for termination. He is not expected to last the month.
Stupid Cat Gossip: My Cat Ate More Stuff
If you may recall, a few months ago my cat ate a bunch of stuff and we had to cancel our vacation and spend a ton of money cutting it's belly open. Well now she somehow nabbed a bootlace that was inside a cup that was inside the garbage can. She swallowed about 6 inches of the thick boot lace and it rolled around in her stomach like a yucky washing machine for a few days until she puked it up. The good news is no expensive surgery. The bad news is that my cat has downs and I am currently looking for a support group.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!