Civilization is by far my favorite game and I can't wait for the newest version to come out on the 24th. It was a lot of fun writing this update and I hope more than a handful of nerdy strategy gamers like it.
Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley Doesn't Own a Computer
My sources at SA tell me that the new front page whipping boy, Terrorsaurus, doesn't even own a computer. When he writes his articles, he is forced to go to an Internet cafe and pay by the hour. Of course this explains the shoddy and rushed workmanship on his updates. I tattled to Lowtax and whispered in his ear that his these are good grounds for termination. He is not expected to last the month.
Stupid Cat Gossip: My Cat Ate More Stuff
If you may recall, a few months ago my cat ate a bunch of stuff and we had to cancel our vacation and spend a ton of money cutting it's belly open. Well now she somehow nabbed a bootlace that was inside a cup that was inside the garbage can. She swallowed about 6 inches of the thick boot lace and it rolled around in her stomach like a yucky washing machine for a few days until she puked it up. The good news is no expensive surgery. The bad news is that my cat has downs and I am currently looking for a support group.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!