Pork Tales X was removed by the CIA for a breach of national security.

I've been really busy and my pet crab gave birth to a litter of crablings.

This is my current excuse for all subpar articles in the future. Actually I kind of like this article, even though I only had about a hour to write it. I'm pretty surprised I pulled it off. I was just going to call Lowtax and tell him that I had cancer again. My facade is wearing thin.

Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley is a Goth

I've been doing some snooping around Knisley's hometown and I've found out that he is 84% Goth. This comes as no surprise to most readers, but it will surely be a devastating blow to the already tarnished image of Knisley, who is on his last legs here at the SA home office. I paid off the janitor at his high school and was able to get a hold of this yearbook picture of him. Damning evidence indeed.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

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