In celebration of Halloween, SA's resident fashion goblins Dr. Thorpe and Zack will be dribbling out a spooky Halloween-themed morsel of Fashion SWAT every day until October 30th. On the spookiest of days you will find a special Halloween treat!
The Astro Pet Costume includes a gray bodysuit with attached “paws” and a character headpiece. This cosmic pup is great with kids and lives up to being “man’s best friend.” Go on, bow-WOW the other pooches this Halloween!
- Available in Pet Sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and X-Large.
- Includes: Bodysuit, Headpiece.
- This is an officially licensed The Jetsons™ costume. ™ & © Hanna-Barbera.
Dr. Thorpe: How the fuck does this work?
Zack: A pitbull deposited its egg in Astro's chest cavity.
Zack: "Ruh-Roh!" And then blood and gore sprays George Jetson in the face.
Dr. Thorpe: We can learn a lot from dog costumes. I think all my costumes from now on are just going to be a person's head on top of my own head, instead of a mask. Plus, two little fake arms to represent their arms even though I already have ams, but of course I'm using my arms as their legs so my legs aren't part of the costume. Just ignore my legs.
Zack: If you're going the whole way you also have to shake your head constantly trying to get the costume off and after about fifteen minutes you just start chewing it apart.
Dr. Thorpe: Dressing up a dog as another dog is weird enough, but when you start having to make huge compromises in dog anatomy when you're making a fucking dog costume for a dog, that just means you're a really retarded costume designer.
Zack: I hate to break it to you, but they sell masks of all the Presidents even though almost a third of them were human.
Dr. Thorpe: Ha! The reptillians have you fooled, I see.
Zack: They have the United Nations and the sheeple fooled. But not me, my friend. Not me. Their agenda is as clear to me as the trackers in our money.
Dr. Thorpe: Argh, everything about this costume is just so wrongheaded and misguided that it makes me angry to look at it. Maybe it's supposed to be a postmodern comment on the concept of metadogs or something, but whatever, call me a philistine.
Zack: Give it time. In about five Halloweens there will be dogs wearing costumes of dogs wearing Astro costumes. Dog will look like piles of useless, dangling limbs and heads.
Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, they'll use the tail for one leg and the dick for the other, the back legs will be the arms of Astro and the front legs will be the arms of the dog-in-an-astro-costume costume, and so on.
Zack: With a cow head on the side to complete the illusion.
This is not my jury summons!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!