In celebration of Halloween, SA's resident fashion goblins Dr. Thorpe and Zack will be dribbling out a spooky Halloween-themed morsel of Fashion SWAT every day until October 30th. On the spookiest of days you will find a special Halloween treat!
Description:You will love dressing your dogs for photo opportunities and parties in our hilarious Piggy Pooch costume.
Made of soft polyester with Velcro® closures for easy fastening and a secure fit.
This cute costume includes a little pig tail, and a hood with pig ears and snout to complete the look.
Zack: Today's dog bears a distinct resemblance to Alice Cooper being vomited out of a pig's mouth.Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, there's something really violent and disturbing about this, like the dog has flayed a pig and is wearing its skin, and he's looking us like "you're next, queer."
Dr. Thorpe: And I say "queer" because there's also an element of sexual menace in this, but maybe that's just me projecting.
Zack: You could be right. That dog could have brutally flayed the skin from that doll-eyed pig. The alternative is even more terrifying. What if the pig is completely unconcerned with the dog's head projecting out of its mouth?
Zack: Maybe the dog head is just part of how the pig does business. Maybe the pig is some terrible dog symbiote like those tongue-eating crustaceans that end up in fish mouths or maybe it's part of the pig like those inner jaws in Aliens.
Dr. Thorpe: I don't know, the dog's crooked leer makes me think he's the aggressor in this situation, and the pig is just another victim.
Dr. Thorpe: "Pig was lookin' at me funny so I jumped through its asshole."
Zack: The pig was apparently slithering around too. The Korean costume makers just decided cows have six legs and pigs have none.
Zack: "Pig come up out of ground like worm. Big worm! Oink, oink! No teeth, big asshole!"
Dr. Thorpe: My perfect woman.
Zack: Lair of the Pig Worm.
Dr. Thorpe: Have you picked up Max Hardcore's Oink Oink No Teeth Big Asshole BBW Gapefest #44 yet?
Zack: I have #43 but it was too disgusting for me. Some of those women looked over 20.
Dr. Thorpe: Which, by porn standards, makes them MILFs. Milves?
Zack: It follows the dwarf standard. "Dwarfs in real life and dwarves in Tolkein."
Zack: In this case we're definitely talking Tolkein standards, making "Milves" the appropriate plural.
Dr. Thorpe: You know he came up with a whole Milven language?
Zack: Max Hardcore, you mean? It's based on those froggy gagging and puking sounds women make when he's around.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!