You aren't sure what's so special about the opening ceremony, but something is making your heart skip a beat. Perhaps it's national pride, or the ridiculous scene of a man being lifted on wires to light the torch, or maybe it's the hundreds of Asian girls dancing around for three hours. Whatever it is, you're sure there's magic around. Yes, you must compete in the Olympics. This is your chance for fame, for glory, for a girlfriend-an Asian one! On the other hand, your torrents desperately need seeded.
Do yourself a favor and don't click on any of these buttons down here.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.