I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.
My Weekend With Frolixo
This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!
I could really see myself falling for someone like him!
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
SUPPRESSIVE DOG is overburdened with body thetans and refuses to cooperate with my attempts to audit him. I have no choice but to disconnect from him and adopt a better dog. 555-1294
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!