I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.
My Weekend With Frolixo
This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!
I could really see myself falling for someone like him!
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!