I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.
My Weekend With Frolixo
This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!
I could really see myself falling for someone like him!
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!