Today's Update

I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.

My Weekend With Frolixo

This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!

I could really see myself falling for someone like him!

– Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.