I like doing these fake holiday history things even though they're completely dumb and probably in poor taste. I'll try to make this the last one unless someone requests otherwise.
My Weekend With Frolixo
This weekend Frolixo took me to Ace Hardware and showed me how to shop for a gas grill and change my own transmission fluid. Then he bought me ice cream and taught me sign language. CHECK IT OUT!
I could really see myself falling for someone like him!
A guide to the loud, large men who will be filling our living room weekly.
He has unlocked the secrets of the universe and seen beyond the mortal plane, yet Doctor Strange can't believe how easy it is to eat an olive.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!