...mistake it for a baseball bat.


This being my second article, I thought I'd take a second to say hi and thank anyone who sent me nice emails about my first article. On a completely unrelated note, my email wasn’t working when my first update went up, so I didn't actually recieve any of that email. But I'm sure it was nice and full of job offers and marriage proposals and things like that.

Because an article about video games that doesn't even mention a single actual video game probably isn't going to get anyone into a fever of letter writing, let me provide a list of my dislikes in the interest of stirring discussion:

When I got this job I was so happy that I looked like this on the inside but not the outside because this isn't me.Things I don’t like:

  • Jews
  • Communists
  • Communist Jews
  • You, if you are a communist Jew
  • Anime
  • Christians
  • Everything but America
  • America
  • Music
  • Children
  • Puppies
  • Kittens
  • The internet
  • Star Wars
  • Star Trek
  • Stars
  • You again


In a shameless rip-off of Bob “BobServo” Mackey, I’ll go ahead and say that if you send me anything particularly interesting I might respond to it in a Daily Dirt. Or I might not. I don’t know. Either way, you can send me shit at maxnmona@somethingawful.com.

– Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink

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