Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley Eats Grass
It's true. My sources tell me that witnesses saw Knisley on all fours in the SA corporate park yesterday feasting on a lunch of grass. This just goes to show you that he cannot be trusted to update the front page and is probably a member of the Communist Party. He also smells like Cheetos.
I really did go to a beer taste festival called "Hops of Fun" this past weekend. We were up at Mackinac Island for a late one year anniversary of our marriage, and it just happened that they had this huge festival a stones throw away from our hotel. I sampled a lot of microbrews that I've never heard of before and most of them were damn good, but the beer snobbery was evident and the trendy names and packaging was a little extreme. I guess people get really bored with beer and have to jazz it up a little, just like they do with coffee and PEZ dispensers. I did try a couple cigars as well. My favorite was the Churchill, and I wrote most of my update slightly drunk while sitting next to Lake Huron with a big stogie in my mouth, chuckling like a deranged mob boss. That explains a lot about my update!
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!