I slept through the entirety of Friday afternoon for no apparent reason. I had gotten enough sleep the night before, wasn't sick, and hadn't been listening to Coldplay so it was rather surprising.
No problem, I thought as I woke up at around 8:30pm. I still had the whole night to finish my update. The rough draft was done, and the last day is usually a laid back process in which I add to what I already have until the article is around twice its original length.
At 11pm I laid down on my bed like an idiot to take a break and brainstorm, then woke back up shortly after 4:30am.
Instead of ballooning in size, my update actually shrank when I cut some ideas that weren't as funny as I had originally thought. This was only compounded by the fact that I was under such a rush to finish that I couldn't come up with anything to add that even remotely resembled humor. As I forced myself to wrap everything up I realized that I didn't have any State Og submissions in my inbox, and that if the feature was going to run this week I'd have to write the entire thing within an hour since I've got real life stuff to do this morning. Not happening.
The fact that the finished update is so short is hopefully offset by the large ALOD I had already been planning to run. Letting things come down to the wire like that and having my creativity shut off completely was pretty scary, like pulling up to your job's parking lot and realizing you have no pants, so you have to fashion a pair out of your upholstery and have less than fifteen minutes to do so. From now on I'll probably get everything ready a day earlier just to be safe.
As for my sudden bout of narcolepsy, I blame you, hypno-Mario and Luigi.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!