I Broke My Toe Chasing My Cat
I was eating some Cheez-Its on the couch and my retarded kitten grabbed one out of my hand and fled to devour it in some dark hole. I gave chase in blind anger and hit my foot on a cast iron table leg. A toe on my left foot is broken and all black and puffy. I need help. It hurts to walk and I need something to drink badly. Send cases of Bass ale and some pornographic DVDs. Thank you.
Oh Great Another Preachy Frolixo Update
"What happened to the good old days when Frolixo wrote about talking farm animals and shopping for a new pair of shoes?" Not to fret young ones, I have not abandoned you. Next week I tackle Literacy, but after that I'm done. This is part of my community service for shooting the neighborhood kids with an airsoft gun for hanging around my bushes. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BUSHES YOU LITTLE SHITS!
Oh god my foot.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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