I Broke My Toe Chasing My Cat
I was eating some Cheez-Its on the couch and my retarded kitten grabbed one out of my hand and fled to devour it in some dark hole. I gave chase in blind anger and hit my foot on a cast iron table leg. A toe on my left foot is broken and all black and puffy. I need help. It hurts to walk and I need something to drink badly. Send cases of Bass ale and some pornographic DVDs. Thank you.
Oh Great Another Preachy Frolixo Update
"What happened to the good old days when Frolixo wrote about talking farm animals and shopping for a new pair of shoes?" Not to fret young ones, I have not abandoned you. Next week I tackle Literacy, but after that I'm done. This is part of my community service for shooting the neighborhood kids with an airsoft gun for hanging around my bushes. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BUSHES YOU LITTLE SHITS!
Oh god my foot.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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