I Broke My Toe Chasing My Cat
I was eating some Cheez-Its on the couch and my retarded kitten grabbed one out of my hand and fled to devour it in some dark hole. I gave chase in blind anger and hit my foot on a cast iron table leg. A toe on my left foot is broken and all black and puffy. I need help. It hurts to walk and I need something to drink badly. Send cases of Bass ale and some pornographic DVDs. Thank you.
Oh Great Another Preachy Frolixo Update
"What happened to the good old days when Frolixo wrote about talking farm animals and shopping for a new pair of shoes?" Not to fret young ones, I have not abandoned you. Next week I tackle Literacy, but after that I'm done. This is part of my community service for shooting the neighborhood kids with an airsoft gun for hanging around my bushes. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BUSHES YOU LITTLE SHITS!
Oh god my foot.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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