Steve: "Okay, buddy, we'll go there, but what do I get out of the deal?"
Zack: You don't negotiate gold rewards out of a superior officer.
Steve: You don't tell Betty Nance what to do. She's bucking for a promotion.
Zack: Colonel Eggers clears his throat. "Ahem, well, in addition to receiving the appreciation of your nation and my own, I suppose it will be necessary to let you know a bit more about Majestic."
Steve: "Make me a general."
Zack: He stares at you.
Zack: Still staring.
Steve: What's next? Captain?
Steve: Is it captain or major? I always get those two mixed up.
Zack: Regardless, he will still be staring at you.
Steve: Okay, Betty does this awesome sigh followed by a heel spin and marches out of there with her big rack.
Zack: When she gets outside she finds Walt has been talking with someone from Section M to get directions to the Teufelsschanze. It's about a day's drive. If you leave now you should arrive by the morning.
Steve: This place had better be in friendly territory.
Zack: It is, but not by much.
Steve: Great. And we'll probably have to shack up at some spooooky haunted house along the way? I'm glad I've got banjo eyes and the this creepy indian guy to keep me company.
Zack: You set off immediately. Despite the war, the countryside is scenic, with meadows, quaint villages and rolling hills. You pass windmills and bomb craters and farmers who look at you warily.
Steve: "Piss off, Nazis!" Give them that move the British do that's like the middle finger but with two fingers.
Zack: You're actually in Austria, not Germany, but they could be Nazis. As you head higher into the mountains the sky begins to darken into dusk.
Steve: Tell Walt to find us a Holiday Inn or something because I am not going to be happy if we stay in the 7th Guest house.
This VR game has become sentient and is killing us one by one. But is it art?
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
If you think Hitler was good, you've got another thing coming.
These tips are guaranteed to work. Nearly every time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.