Zack: Finally, a game that includes the handicapped! Sure, it's murdering them for mana points, but they have to start somewhere.
Zack: Jackie Robinson got his start being murdered by the negro leagues to teleport Babe Ruth and his massive circumference anus into the middle of a game against some cave trolls.
Steve: Subtly the creepiest thing on that list is that adults and young-adults are chained naked to an altar, but the old people and the babies are left clothed.
Zack: By the way, if you notice that number at the front of each item it has a lot of zeros. That's because this is one of many d1000 or greater random tables in the book.
Steve: Hey, sometimes the players want to know what sort of salt flakes to sprinkle over a naked 12 year old girl to give a bladder infection to a woman a mile away.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.