Steve: Cave bison!
Zack: At this point they're just sticking in versions of regular animals for every possible eventuality. Cave bison, tree alligators, sky squids.
Steve: Tundra otyughs.
Zack: For all of your piles of seal guts and soiled parkas.
Steve: Moon gorilla.
Zack: That sounds really racist, Steve. Maybe you should change that.
Steve: Okay, well, they love their giant fish. What about some sort of giant gar, like a lava gar or a field gar.
Zack: Field gar hates Moondays.
Steve: Can he defeat a lasagna golem?
Zack: I don't know, but Jim Davis just made two more t-shirts and a plush doll based on our conversation.
This Week on Something Awful...
The Something Awful Guide to Buying a TV In 2018
It's time to get a new TV. Your old one was made like two years ago, and so much has changed. You might as well be looking at a dinosaur's butthole. Why would you keep doing that, when you could be looking at a robot's butthole?
This Dumbass Terminator in My Gun Store Thinks It's "Assault Rifle 15"
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
I Have Been a Game Developer For 3 Days. Here's Everything I Know
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Patch Notes Roundup: Far Cry 5, Sea of Thieves, Fortnite
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
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