Steve: Cave bison!
Zack: At this point they're just sticking in versions of regular animals for every possible eventuality. Cave bison, tree alligators, sky squids.
Steve: Tundra otyughs.
Zack: For all of your piles of seal guts and soiled parkas.
Steve: Moon gorilla.
Zack: That sounds really racist, Steve. Maybe you should change that.
Steve: Okay, well, they love their giant fish. What about some sort of giant gar, like a lava gar or a field gar.
Zack: Field gar hates Moondays.
Steve: Can he defeat a lasagna golem?
Zack: I don't know, but Jim Davis just made two more t-shirts and a plush doll based on our conversation.
This Week on Something Awful...
I'm Pretty Sure this Airbnb is Just a Treehouse
I had to register my complaints while they were still fresh. And while the bark was still fresh and pliable.
UpFeed BuzzPost: Front Page Headlines
Hey Asshole! Yeah, You, Jackass! Want To Know Which Disney Princess You Are, You Piece Of Shit?
The Diablo 3 Necromancer DLC: Time For A Skeleton Key Party
For every two dollars spent, you get just under one skeleton. A troubling proposition.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
Suggested Articles
What's Hot
Popular Threads
Antifa is a terrorist organization
Automotive Passenger Pigeons: Cars you don't see much of anymore
One man's always clapping for Marvel after credits scenes never stopping...
Final Fantasy: Brave Exvius Global - ARE YOU NOT BEDILED?
all cartoon cereal mascots are sinister
You Are A Man. How do you like your apologies? How do you apologize?
Every person on earth has your exact personality and skills
The Flipster Comes Home: Spider-Man: Homecoming