Steve: Cave bison!
Zack: At this point they're just sticking in versions of regular animals for every possible eventuality. Cave bison, tree alligators, sky squids.
Steve: Tundra otyughs.
Zack: For all of your piles of seal guts and soiled parkas.
Steve: Moon gorilla.
Zack: That sounds really racist, Steve. Maybe you should change that.
Steve: Okay, well, they love their giant fish. What about some sort of giant gar, like a lava gar or a field gar.
Zack: Field gar hates Moondays.
Steve: Can he defeat a lasagna golem?
Zack: I don't know, but Jim Davis just made two more t-shirts and a plush doll based on our conversation.
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Let's Get Way More Specific With Our Lists of the Top Rich People
Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
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James Callis delivers easily the best-worst Merlin performance of the last 500 years.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
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