Zack: I know I saw this thing in a Tool video.
Steve: Fiend Folio loves monsters that are pointless, but will, like, totally blow your mind, man.
Zack: "7' tall, naked and hairless?" Hang on, I think the description actually consists of Tool lyrics. Somebody get Maynard in here to record this thing. I'll tap on this glass with a pencil. You languidly strum a bass guitar.
Steve: Is Tool the band from Home Improvement?
Steve: The Al guy with the fence and his band. And it had Tom Taylor and he made animal sounds.
Zack: Steve, half the time you say things like that you sound like some foreigner trying to surrender to an American soldier.
Steve: No, dude, it was with JT and the other kid and he made a car in his garage. They had a band on TV.
Zack: PLEASE DON'T SHOOT! I LOVE AMERICA! MICHAEL MOUSE! I DON'T THINK SO TIM! TOOL TIMES, OKAY! USA GOOD! BINFORD OKAY NUMBER ONE!
Steve: No one listens to Tool Time anyway.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.