Zack: I know I saw this thing in a Tool video.

Steve: Fiend Folio loves monsters that are pointless, but will, like, totally blow your mind, man.

Zack: "7' tall, naked and hairless?" Hang on, I think the description actually consists of Tool lyrics. Somebody get Maynard in here to record this thing. I'll tap on this glass with a pencil. You languidly strum a bass guitar.

Steve: Is Tool the band from Home Improvement?

Zack: What?

Steve: The Al guy with the fence and his band. And it had Tom Taylor and he made animal sounds.

Zack: Steve, half the time you say things like that you sound like some foreigner trying to surrender to an American soldier.

Steve: No, dude, it was with JT and the other kid and he made a car in his garage. They had a band on TV.

Zack: PLEASE DON'T SHOOT! I LOVE AMERICA! MICHAEL MOUSE! I DON'T THINK SO TIM! TOOL TIMES, OKAY! USA GOOD! BINFORD OKAY NUMBER ONE!

Steve: No one listens to Tool Time anyway.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.