Zack: I know I saw this thing in a Tool video.
Steve: Fiend Folio loves monsters that are pointless, but will, like, totally blow your mind, man.
Zack: "7' tall, naked and hairless?" Hang on, I think the description actually consists of Tool lyrics. Somebody get Maynard in here to record this thing. I'll tap on this glass with a pencil. You languidly strum a bass guitar.
Steve: Is Tool the band from Home Improvement?
Steve: The Al guy with the fence and his band. And it had Tom Taylor and he made animal sounds.
Zack: Steve, half the time you say things like that you sound like some foreigner trying to surrender to an American soldier.
Steve: No, dude, it was with JT and the other kid and he made a car in his garage. They had a band on TV.
Zack: PLEASE DON'T SHOOT! I LOVE AMERICA! MICHAEL MOUSE! I DON'T THINK SO TIM! TOOL TIMES, OKAY! USA GOOD! BINFORD OKAY NUMBER ONE!
Steve: No one listens to Tool Time anyway.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.