Zack: The real hook horror is when this poor guy has to zip up.
Steve: Jeez, or turn a doorknob.
Zack: It's like somebody started to copy off something from Dark Crystal and then just sighed and gave up when they got to the hands. And they started with the hands.
Steve: Actually, this fellow looks a lot like the crabman from the first part with a full-on bird head and handicapped hands.
Zack: He also looks like he just got caught trying to escape from prison and he's about to get chased out of frame by bullets from a tommy gun.
Steve: The Dame Wore Hooks!
Zack: Of all the two-copper screech caves in Underdark she had to scuttle into mine.
Steve: Her exoskeleton was all curves, like an '8' with a bird head.
Zack: Her clacking said "yes," but her hooks said "no."
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.