Zack: The real hook horror is when this poor guy has to zip up.
Steve: Jeez, or turn a doorknob.
Zack: It's like somebody started to copy off something from Dark Crystal and then just sighed and gave up when they got to the hands. And they started with the hands.
Steve: Actually, this fellow looks a lot like the crabman from the first part with a full-on bird head and handicapped hands.
Zack: He also looks like he just got caught trying to escape from prison and he's about to get chased out of frame by bullets from a tommy gun.
Steve: The Dame Wore Hooks!
Zack: Of all the two-copper screech caves in Underdark she had to scuttle into mine.
Steve: Her exoskeleton was all curves, like an '8' with a bird head.
Zack: Her clacking said "yes," but her hooks said "no."
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.