Steve: I will die before you convince me this thing isn't totally 100% heavy metal kick ass.
Zack: He does look pretty kickass.
Steve: I know, right? He looks like he could step out of some sinister alcove and punch the brains out of some dude's skull.
Zack: Yeah, he does, too bad looks can be deceiving. You see that text about Zodar not talking? That's because Zodar is a bullshit Dungeon Master tool for making sure the party survives encounters. As you and I both know the purpose of the DM is not to hand-hold and protect the "gaming experience," it's to brutally murder the entire party as diabolically and violently as possible.
Steve: I think I remember that from the intro text in the DMG. Still, I don't care. Zodar looks like a badass, he has badass stats, even the fact that he never says anything is cool. Like a cowboy.
Zack: The Good, the Bad and the Mary Sue.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.