Steve: Selkies are classic dude. They're like real mythology or something.
Zack: I'm beginning to get the feeling about a fourth of D&D monsters are shapeshifters designed to trick people into having sex with something scary or gross.
Steve: It's not like the Selkie Crying Games you though dude. She's all hot and makes a move and then after you do it she turns into a seal.
Zack: You're basically doing it with an animal if you have a baby with this thing. It's a seal.
Steve: Uh, no, it's a shapeshifter, which is its own category.Zack: "Arrr, I be married to the seal."
Steve: I can't agree with your logic, but having been on the receiving end of many a trick lady in D&D, I will agree with your basic premise. D&D is very hard on true romantics like me.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.