Zack: You are obsessed with skeletons.
Steve: Oh, yeah, I'm the weirdo. Universal symbol of death inside us all. That wouldn't be scary to see walking around or anything.
Zack: It would be strange, but there are a lot of things that would be strange in the Monster Manuals. Just for example, a Blink Dog. That would scare me a lot and they're not even very dangerous unless you're evil.
Steve: Don't try to get me off track discussing the merits of Blink Dogging. There's is almost nothing more good, old-fashioned scary than a skeleton. It's so scary it doesn't have to do anything threatening. A skeleton walking down the street at night or driving a car is pretty scary.
Zack: Yeah, you can bet he doesn't have insurance. And how did he pass the vision test for his license? He doesn't even have eyes.
Steve: He's driving illegally.
Zack: Next time go ahead and tell me when your skeleton fables are taking place in ultimate nightmare reality.Steve: And he's driving a hearse. Your hearse. To take you to your grave to become a skeleton.
Zack: Is he willing to make any stops on the way? I have to get Zookeeper back to the Redbox pronto.
Steve: No stops!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.