D&D's Scariest Monsters (1977-1983)

Skeleton

Zack: You are obsessed with skeletons.

Steve: Oh, yeah, I'm the weirdo. Universal symbol of death inside us all. That wouldn't be scary to see walking around or anything.

Zack: It would be strange, but there are a lot of things that would be strange in the Monster Manuals. Just for example, a Blink Dog. That would scare me a lot and they're not even very dangerous unless you're evil.

Steve: Don't try to get me off track discussing the merits of Blink Dogging. There's is almost nothing more good, old-fashioned scary than a skeleton. It's so scary it doesn't have to do anything threatening. A skeleton walking down the street at night or driving a car is pretty scary.

Zack: Yeah, you can bet he doesn't have insurance. And how did he pass the vision test for his license? He doesn't even have eyes.

Steve: He's driving illegally.

Zack: Next time go ahead and tell me when your skeleton fables are taking place in ultimate nightmare reality.

Steve: And he's driving a hearse. Your hearse. To take you to your grave to become a skeleton.

Zack: Is he willing to make any stops on the way? I have to get Zookeeper back to the Redbox pronto.

Steve: No stops!

Zack: Ahhhh!