Steve: Classic, simple, terrifying. The troll is the ultimate D&D monster.
Zack: I think it predates D&D by a year or two.Steve: That's part of what makes it the best. It's already ingrained in our fear centers in our brain. We're wired to fear trolls. It's predator-prey behavior.
Zack: From when trolls preyed upon us?Steve: They still do, my friend.
Zack: I'll admit, the regenerative aspect of trolls is creepy. They're tough and ugly and, by now, every player knows about their regeneration. So that big surprise moment where they put themselves back together and stand up once again is a little deflated.Steve: You're not using your imagination. Change it up. Don't let your players know you're dealing with a troll. Maybe they look like a normal dude who just happens to be bad.
Zack: Mine was scarier. At least a troll has a face. Mine was like a garage sale Mr. Potato Head a two-year-old was playing with.
Steve: No one is afraid of a Tirapheg dude! In all my years of playing and DMing nobody ever used a Tirapheg.Zack: It's okay to be afraid, Steve.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.