Steve: Classic, simple, terrifying. The troll is the ultimate D&D monster.

Zack: I think it predates D&D by a year or two.

Steve: That's part of what makes it the best. It's already ingrained in our fear centers in our brain. We're wired to fear trolls. It's predator-prey behavior.

Zack: From when trolls preyed upon us?

Steve: They still do, my friend.

Zack: I'll admit, the regenerative aspect of trolls is creepy. They're tough and ugly and, by now, every player knows about their regeneration. So that big surprise moment where they put themselves back together and stand up once again is a little deflated.

Steve: You're not using your imagination. Change it up. Don't let your players know you're dealing with a troll. Maybe they look like a normal dude who just happens to be bad.

Zack: Mine was scarier. At least a troll has a face. Mine was like a garage sale Mr. Potato Head a two-year-old was playing with.

Steve: No one is afraid of a Tirapheg dude! In all my years of playing and DMing nobody ever used a Tirapheg.

Zack: It's okay to be afraid, Steve.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.