Steve: Classic, simple, terrifying. The troll is the ultimate D&D monster.

Zack: I think it predates D&D by a year or two.

Steve: That's part of what makes it the best. It's already ingrained in our fear centers in our brain. We're wired to fear trolls. It's predator-prey behavior.

Zack: From when trolls preyed upon us?

Steve: They still do, my friend.

Zack: I'll admit, the regenerative aspect of trolls is creepy. They're tough and ugly and, by now, every player knows about their regeneration. So that big surprise moment where they put themselves back together and stand up once again is a little deflated.

Steve: You're not using your imagination. Change it up. Don't let your players know you're dealing with a troll. Maybe they look like a normal dude who just happens to be bad.

Zack: Mine was scarier. At least a troll has a face. Mine was like a garage sale Mr. Potato Head a two-year-old was playing with.

Steve: No one is afraid of a Tirapheg dude! In all my years of playing and DMing nobody ever used a Tirapheg.

Zack: It's okay to be afraid, Steve.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.