Zack: Why does that short, fat dude have orb hands?
Zack: And why isn't that woman wearing any pants?
Steve: These are alien species that have evolved beyond the need for pants and hands.
Zack: I wonder what sort of environment naturally selects for orb hands. Giant bowling alley, possibly, or a megalopolis built as a sentient pinball table.
Steve: Maybe their only form of transportation is old-timey cannons.
Zack: Aliens look suspiciously like elves.Steve: What about that dog or kangaroo dude with the big tail? Not an elf.
Zack: At least he hasn't evolved beyond the need for pants.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.