Zack: Why does that short, fat dude have orb hands?
Zack: And why isn't that woman wearing any pants?
Steve: These are alien species that have evolved beyond the need for pants and hands.
Zack: I wonder what sort of environment naturally selects for orb hands. Giant bowling alley, possibly, or a megalopolis built as a sentient pinball table.
Steve: Maybe their only form of transportation is old-timey cannons.
Zack: Aliens look suspiciously like elves.Steve: What about that dog or kangaroo dude with the big tail? Not an elf.
Zack: At least he hasn't evolved beyond the need for pants.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.