Zack: Here it is: the single laziest piece of artwork in the Antiquities set. Painted by the prolific Douglas Shuler, apparently worn out from putting Tim & Eric beards on everything he paints he just half-assed a candelabra and dropped some sparkles on it.
Steve: What did you expect? It's a candelabra.
Zack: How about a massively busty wizard woman up on a cliff with storms raging all around her and she's holding up this glowing candelabra and the fire from the candles is swirling up into a tornado of fire that is changing night into day on the wide expanse of land below. That's right up your alley.
Steve: Pretty good, but not as good as "an awkward candelabra sitting on a peach tablecloth."
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.