Zack: Kip Amadeus Bleh AKA Baron Morbid Sadsack from Barf Murder, Transylvania is SINGLE!??! Ladies, get on this shit!

Steve: He's Eastern European minor royalty in a warlock collar.

Zack: He can regale with occult lore and Transylvanian history until you need a towel for your chair. Your creepy Eastern European antique chair.

Steve: All sex lights off and you must agree to mesmerism in the bedroom.

Zack: Must be open to Dormammu and the Ancient One.

Steve: "My dear, did I ever tell you about the elder circle of the golden order of Dorm Roomu?"

Zack: "If you hear any strange winds in the night do not fear, my sweet flower. It is only Baron Blood who will be visiting while his Nazi castle is fumigated."

Steve: I don't want this to ever stop.

Zack: It doesn't have to, Steve! We have only made it halfway through this book and there are three more books of these guys!

Steve: Shift Z Happiness, right here bro.

Zack: Class 5000 Joy.

Steve: Poor Mirth Control.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.