Zack: Kip Amadeus Bleh AKA Baron Morbid Sadsack from Barf Murder, Transylvania is SINGLE!??! Ladies, get on this shit!
Steve: He's Eastern European minor royalty in a warlock collar.
Zack: He can regale with occult lore and Transylvanian history until you need a towel for your chair. Your creepy Eastern European antique chair.
Steve: All sex lights off and you must agree to mesmerism in the bedroom.
Zack: Must be open to Dormammu and the Ancient One.
Steve: "My dear, did I ever tell you about the elder circle of the golden order of Dorm Roomu?"Zack: "If you hear any strange winds in the night do not fear, my sweet flower. It is only Baron Blood who will be visiting while his Nazi castle is fumigated."
Steve: I don't want this to ever stop.
Zack: It doesn't have to, Steve! We have only made it halfway through this book and there are three more books of these guys!Steve: Shift Z Happiness, right here bro.
Zack: Class 5000 Joy.
Steve: Poor Mirth Control.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.