Zack: Kip Amadeus Bleh AKA Baron Morbid Sadsack from Barf Murder, Transylvania is SINGLE!??! Ladies, get on this shit!
Steve: He's Eastern European minor royalty in a warlock collar.
Zack: He can regale with occult lore and Transylvanian history until you need a towel for your chair. Your creepy Eastern European antique chair.
Steve: All sex lights off and you must agree to mesmerism in the bedroom.
Zack: Must be open to Dormammu and the Ancient One.
Steve: "My dear, did I ever tell you about the elder circle of the golden order of Dorm Roomu?"
Zack: "If you hear any strange winds in the night do not fear, my sweet flower. It is only Baron Blood who will be visiting while his Nazi castle is fumigated."Steve: I don't want this to ever stop.
Zack: It doesn't have to, Steve! We have only made it halfway through this book and there are three more books of these guys!
Steve: Shift Z Happiness, right here bro.Zack: Class 5000 Joy.
Steve: Poor Mirth Control.
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Fantastic Artwork of Frank Frazetta
- The 10 Reasons We Will Never Review F.A.T.A.L.
- More Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- The World of Synnibarr (1993)
