Zack: Kip Amadeus Bleh AKA Baron Morbid Sadsack from Barf Murder, Transylvania is SINGLE!??! Ladies, get on this shit!
Steve: He's Eastern European minor royalty in a warlock collar.
Zack: He can regale with occult lore and Transylvanian history until you need a towel for your chair. Your creepy Eastern European antique chair.
Steve: All sex lights off and you must agree to mesmerism in the bedroom.
Zack: Must be open to Dormammu and the Ancient One.
Steve: "My dear, did I ever tell you about the elder circle of the golden order of Dorm Roomu?"Zack: "If you hear any strange winds in the night do not fear, my sweet flower. It is only Baron Blood who will be visiting while his Nazi castle is fumigated."
Steve: I don't want this to ever stop.
Zack: It doesn't have to, Steve! We have only made it halfway through this book and there are three more books of these guys!Steve: Shift Z Happiness, right here bro.
Zack: Class 5000 Joy.
Steve: Poor Mirth Control.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.