Zack: Three wives and two kids. One of these broads isn't pulling her weight.
Steve: Good relations with Bruce Banner until he figures out why he wears those purple jean shorts has nothing to do with the gamma rays.
Zack: I bet the Arabian Knight's magical belt is a great opener with the ladies.
Steve: How do you think he won over Almira?
Zack: He bought her from her family when she was 11 years old?
Steve: No way, bro. He hypnotized her with his belt while his magic carpet crept up behind her and then rolled her up like a burrito and flew her back to his tents for a night of magic and passion.
Zack: When she was 11 years old.
Steve: Maybe, but we have to respect their culture.
Zack: You're right. Child brides and treating women like slaves and beheading Bruce Banner for his gay jorts are beautiful traditions. Almost as beautiful as the flying robots we use to murder their entire family.
Steve: They can't hold us responsible for the government's Sentinels program.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.