Zack: Three wives and two kids. One of these broads isn't pulling her weight.
Steve: Good relations with Bruce Banner until he figures out why he wears those purple jean shorts has nothing to do with the gamma rays.
Zack: I bet the Arabian Knight's magical belt is a great opener with the ladies.
Steve: How do you think he won over Almira?
Zack: He bought her from her family when she was 11 years old?
Steve: No way, bro. He hypnotized her with his belt while his magic carpet crept up behind her and then rolled her up like a burrito and flew her back to his tents for a night of magic and passion.
Zack: When she was 11 years old.
Steve: Maybe, but we have to respect their culture.
Zack: You're right. Child brides and treating women like slaves and beheading Bruce Banner for his gay jorts are beautiful traditions. Almost as beautiful as the flying robots we use to murder their entire family.
Steve: They can't hold us responsible for the government's Sentinels program.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.