Zack: That's it for our critical analysis of the 1st Edition Monster Manual. I had a lot of fun.
Steve: I bet you did. I bet it's fun to be mean and negative all the time, even when you're wrong.
Zack: You didn't have fun?
Steve: I had a blast, I just didn't like what you were saying about owlbears. They're no laughing matter.
Zack: In the future we'd love to cover the weird Dungeons & Dragons you, the readers, have suggested. Steve knows all about the monster books, but if you know of a strange adventure or source book we sould discuss then email us your suggestion.
Steve: Do I have access to that email account?
Zack: No, that's mine, but I'll share the emails with you.
Steve: Okay, but they're not really emailing us, are they? Like if someone sent in an email that said, "I love Steve but this Zack guy is a jerk" I bet you wouldn't show me that one.
Zack: You're being unreasonable. You're blaming me for something I haven't even had the chance to do or not do.
Steve: Yeah, we'll see. We'll see how many emails you show me with suggestions that also say you're a jerk and I'm awesome.
Zack: What if I don't show you any of those emails because there aren't any that call me a jerk and you awesome?
Steve: These imaginary scenarios of yours are getting to be a little over the top I think.
–
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About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.