Zack: There's a Chinese restaurant down the street that serves this thing in a spicy sauce. It's delicious!

Steve: Do you eat its thoughts?

Zack: Well, I get a headache every time I eat there, but I doubt this thing was thinking about my idea for a Futanari remake of Robocop.

Steve: I know you hate it when I do this, but I have to defend the Thought Eater.

Zack: Looks like it can defend itself. A duck bill AND fangs? Yikes!

Steve: I know it looks stupid, but this monster is pretty cool. You could have it menacing a village and people don't know what it is and it's a big mystery because it's ethereal.

Zack: A cracking caper! I wonder how Monk would cope with an invisible duck that makes you retarded.

Steve: Monks wouldn't help you much unless they were high level. You need someone who can project or see the ethereal plane.

Zack: I think that's what Natalie is for.

Steve: Does she have a magic weapon or the ability to enter the ethereal plane?

Zack: Hm, I'm not sure, but I'm going to go ahead and answer "yes".

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About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.

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