Zack: Page after page of this crap. Ka this and amulet that, codes and sects and magical Egyptian spirits.
Steve: Yeah I know pretty awesome. We just watched the Mummy and the Mummy Returns and were pretty pumped up to make sand tornadoes appear.
Zack: Seems more like every other White Wolf game where your conscience is literally a magical spirit character and you have to fight him by doing good things in the world or he'll take over.
Steve: No, that's Wraith.
Zack: And Vampire and Werewolf.
Steve: I think it might happen in the Chinese Vampire stuff too if you eat too many yin-yangs or whatever, I don't remember how that worked.
Zack: *Ghostly voice appears from the sandy ether* "Don't mummy it up so much jeez. Put on a shirt. Stop eating life force"Steve: It's not a ghostly voice though I think it's like a giant bird head dude and he pulls your heart out or something.
Zack: So did you ever summon sand tornadoes?
Steve: They were in the Big Red section.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.