Zack: Page after page of this crap. Ka this and amulet that, codes and sects and magical Egyptian spirits.
Steve: Yeah I know pretty awesome. We just watched the Mummy and the Mummy Returns and were pretty pumped up to make sand tornadoes appear.
Zack: Seems more like every other White Wolf game where your conscience is literally a magical spirit character and you have to fight him by doing good things in the world or he'll take over.
Steve: No, that's Wraith.
Zack: And Vampire and Werewolf.
Steve: I think it might happen in the Chinese Vampire stuff too if you eat too many yin-yangs or whatever, I don't remember how that worked.
Zack: *Ghostly voice appears from the sandy ether* "Don't mummy it up so much jeez. Put on a shirt. Stop eating life force"Steve: It's not a ghostly voice though I think it's like a giant bird head dude and he pulls your heart out or something.
Zack: So did you ever summon sand tornadoes?
Steve: They were in the Big Red section.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.