Steve: Paraelementals are way cooler than regular elementals. It's like, about boundaries and between states.
Zack: I think it's about their need to come up with more versions of the same monsters, but they couldn't do a Diablo palette-shift.
Steve: What? Paraelementals are classic. Gygax dreamed them up. They come from the paraelemental planes. Where the elements mingle.
Zack: Where does the ice come from?
Steve: Where air meets water.
Zack: That would be soda or something. Ice would be where cold meets water.Steve: A-ha, but cold isn't an element, it's negative energy. From the negative energy plane.
Zack: So what happens when water and negative energy plane combine?
Steve: They don't touch, water touches the negative material plane and makes salt.
Zack: They form the paraelemental plane of salt?
Steve: No, salt is quasielemental not paraelemental.
Zack: Burn forever.
Steve: That would be on the elemental plane of fire.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.