Steve: Paraelementals are way cooler than regular elementals. It's like, about boundaries and between states.
Zack: I think it's about their need to come up with more versions of the same monsters, but they couldn't do a Diablo palette-shift.
Steve: What? Paraelementals are classic. Gygax dreamed them up. They come from the paraelemental planes. Where the elements mingle.
Zack: Where does the ice come from?
Steve: Where air meets water.
Zack: That would be soda or something. Ice would be where cold meets water.Steve: A-ha, but cold isn't an element, it's negative energy. From the negative energy plane.
Zack: So what happens when water and negative energy plane combine?
Steve: They don't touch, water touches the negative material plane and makes salt.
Zack: They form the paraelemental plane of salt?
Steve: No, salt is quasielemental not paraelemental.
Zack: Burn forever.
Steve: That would be on the elemental plane of fire.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.