Zack: Are you the sort of berk that loved animentals? Did you and your chummers spend all day waiting in line for animentals 2? Sod it, ye daft cunts, it's animentals 3: Fire Bat into Hell.
Steve: "You cross the fire bridge and are standing on the fiery shores of Fire Lake. It's really hot because of all the fire so you cool yourselves from the fiery heat in the relaxing shade of an oak fire. Above you several fire fire fire fire fires are fiery firing 'wooosh wooosh,' their haunting fire fire."
Zack: The description also mentions they hate efreet. I wonder if fires can be racist?
Steve: Reverse racist and yes. Blue fires only just got the right to use the same fire as the red fires.
Zack: The firecans are going to control the southern fire for a generation after the firecrats voted in the fire rights fire into fire.
Zack: It's like Fire always says, "The fire of history is hot, but it burns towards fire."
Steve: In the summer the Elemental Plane of Fire gets so hot the kids open up the fire hydrants and play in the fire that shoots out.
Zack: Sounds like a great place for a D&D adventure.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.