Zack: As you are searching for a means of escape, a star-struck Hutt girl shuffles out of the crowd and approaches you. "Yadda," she squeals, "I am your biggest fan. Can I get your autograph?"
Steve: "Of course, little girl. Can you put the pen into my hand and then crush my hand until it stays closed around the pen?"
Zack: She does exactly that and then holds up a head shot of Yadda for you to sign. "Can you sign it to 'Beth'?"
Steve: "With love!" I flop his little arms around to write the signature.
Zack: She seems disappointed by the totally random marks you made on the picture, but she's so starstruck she can't complain.
Steve: "Hey, any way you can carry me out of here? I really want to avoid the paparazzi."
Zack: "Sure, I have a barge right here!" The barge flies in, knocking over tables and crushing anyone who gets caught in its forcefield. Beth waves her arms around and her entourage lift you up and carry you onto the barge.
Steve: Once I'm on the barge I'm going to ask to use the bathroom and then flush Yadda's dead body down the toilet. I'll just walk out as myself acting like I was already there.
Zack: Great plan.
Steve: Do I gain any light side points for signing Beth's autograph?
Zack: You mean for signing her autograph with the severed upper body of the person she loves?
Zack: Of course, gain 20 light side points.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.