Zack: As you are searching for a means of escape, a star-struck Hutt girl shuffles out of the crowd and approaches you. "Yadda," she squeals, "I am your biggest fan. Can I get your autograph?"
Steve: "Of course, little girl. Can you put the pen into my hand and then crush my hand until it stays closed around the pen?"
Zack: She does exactly that and then holds up a head shot of Yadda for you to sign. "Can you sign it to 'Beth'?"
Steve: "With love!" I flop his little arms around to write the signature.
Zack: She seems disappointed by the totally random marks you made on the picture, but she's so starstruck she can't complain.
Steve: "Hey, any way you can carry me out of here? I really want to avoid the paparazzi."
Zack: "Sure, I have a barge right here!" The barge flies in, knocking over tables and crushing anyone who gets caught in its forcefield. Beth waves her arms around and her entourage lift you up and carry you onto the barge.
Steve: Once I'm on the barge I'm going to ask to use the bathroom and then flush Yadda's dead body down the toilet. I'll just walk out as myself acting like I was already there.
Zack: Great plan.
Steve: Do I gain any light side points for signing Beth's autograph?
Zack: You mean for signing her autograph with the severed upper body of the person she loves?
Zack: Of course, gain 20 light side points.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.