Zack: Yo yo I am a vampire, homes.
Zack: I'm the only black vampire in this book / naturally they made me a rappin' crook.
Steve: I got a 5 in strength and my head is square, use dominate 2 and take you back to my lair
Zack: Blood in blood out in my body I mean / spendin blood like ducats (which I recall from the 13th century) to impress the queen
Steve: This rap seems sort of unwieldy.
Zack: Keep in mind we're white people writing a rap being sung by a black guy that is all white for a book written and edited and read entirely by white people for a game that only white people ever play.
Steve: I saw a black guy playing vampire once.Zack: In person?
Steve: No. It was a Gen Con photo website.Zack: Probably just mislabeled the photo. I'm sure he was playing Star Fleet Battles like all true money hustlas.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.