Zack: Yo yo I am a vampire, homes.
Zack: I'm the only black vampire in this book / naturally they made me a rappin' crook.
Steve: I got a 5 in strength and my head is square, use dominate 2 and take you back to my lair
Zack: Blood in blood out in my body I mean / spendin blood like ducats (which I recall from the 13th century) to impress the queen
Steve: This rap seems sort of unwieldy.
Zack: Keep in mind we're white people writing a rap being sung by a black guy that is all white for a book written and edited and read entirely by white people for a game that only white people ever play.
Steve: I saw a black guy playing vampire once.Zack: In person?
Steve: No. It was a Gen Con photo website.Zack: Probably just mislabeled the photo. I'm sure he was playing Star Fleet Battles like all true money hustlas.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.