Zack: Yo yo I am a vampire, homes.
Zack: I'm the only black vampire in this book / naturally they made me a rappin' crook.
Steve: I got a 5 in strength and my head is square, use dominate 2 and take you back to my lair
Zack: Blood in blood out in my body I mean / spendin blood like ducats (which I recall from the 13th century) to impress the queen
Steve: This rap seems sort of unwieldy.
Zack: Keep in mind we're white people writing a rap being sung by a black guy that is all white for a book written and edited and read entirely by white people for a game that only white people ever play.
Steve: I saw a black guy playing vampire once.Zack: In person?
Steve: No. It was a Gen Con photo website.Zack: Probably just mislabeled the photo. I'm sure he was playing Star Fleet Battles like all true money hustlas.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.