Gods of Monsters
In addition to all the "real" deities in the book, there were also quite a few originals straight from the brain trust at TSR. One group were the deities worshipped by the monsters of the D&D world. Some of them made sense. Some of them made for the stupidest gods in the book.
Steve: This dude looks pretty confident. "Yeah, that's right, I'm a Bugbear. So what?"
Zack: I bet he can roar a terrible roar and gnash his terrible teeth.
Steve: This is the sort of artwork in the old D&D books that just makes me a little mad. Like when I know me or Keith could have drawn it better.
Zack: I don't know, I sort of want to hang out with Hruggek. He looks like a good time.
Steve: He's Chaotic Evil, dude.
Zack: Yeah, but so was Frank Booth in Blue Velvet, and that dude knew how to have fun all the time. I can just picture Hruggek with a tank of nitrous, huffing it through a face mask while Loki sings Candy Colored Clown.
Steve: On the astral plane, I walk, with you. On the ethereal plane, I talk, to you. In Pandemonium, you're mine, allllll the time.
Zack: Here's to Steve!
Steve: I never saw that movie, but I love Roy Orbison.
Zack: So does Hruggek. He is down with Roy Orbison, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and the severed heads of his conquered opponents.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.