Zack: I wonder how many people committed suicide because of this book.

Steve: Probably nobody, but I bet there are a couple dudes out there who get off on chicks with big hooters and animal heads.

Zack: You think there are a couple guys like that?

Steve: Maybe three or four?

Zack: I blame the tits in the early D&D books and Rescue Rangers for pretty much ruining an entire generation of Americans.

Steve: I never liked Rescue Rangers. TaleSpin was more my thing.

Zack: Then you're probably fine.

Steve: Nope, I broke my collarbone trying to ride a surfboard off my roof while holding onto a kite. And while I was in the hospital overnight I thought about the Gynosphinx from the Monster Manual.

Zack: Did she have a lobster head?

Steve: No, head and rack of a woman. The rest of her was a lion. Except for she had angel wings.

Zack: Then you're fine!

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

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About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.

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