Zack: I wonder how many people committed suicide because of this book.
Steve: Probably nobody, but I bet there are a couple dudes out there who get off on chicks with big hooters and animal heads.
Zack: You think there are a couple guys like that?
Steve: Maybe three or four?
Zack: I blame the tits in the early D&D books and Rescue Rangers for pretty much ruining an entire generation of Americans.
Steve: I never liked Rescue Rangers. TaleSpin was more my thing.
Zack: Then you're probably fine.
Steve: Nope, I broke my collarbone trying to ride a surfboard off my roof while holding onto a kite. And while I was in the hospital overnight I thought about the Gynosphinx from the Monster Manual.
Zack: Did she have a lobster head?
Steve: No, head and rack of a woman. The rest of her was a lion. Except for she had angel wings.
Zack: Then you're fine!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.