Steve: Whoa, my boner doesn't know what to do!
Zack: I bet Blibdoolpoolp doesn't practice the best hygiene on her 20' tall lady parts. Zebra mussels and diatoms and shit falling out of there like a bad Christmas stocking.
Steve: Seriously, this is causing me issues.
Zack: It does say one of her special attacks is "Insanity."
Steve: It's like this one time at work there was this Mexican girl who was really hot, but then I found out her name from the schedule and it was the exact same as my mom's name.
Zack: Well, what's your mom's name?
Zack: I guess at least it isn't Blibdoolpoolp.
Steve: How does that help me with my problem?
Zack: There's only one way to help you with that. I tell you what, you get the +2 or better weapon and I'll get the drawn butter.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.