Steve: Whoa, my boner doesn't know what to do!
Zack: I bet Blibdoolpoolp doesn't practice the best hygiene on her 20' tall lady parts. Zebra mussels and diatoms and shit falling out of there like a bad Christmas stocking.
Steve: Seriously, this is causing me issues.
Zack: It does say one of her special attacks is "Insanity."
Steve: It's like this one time at work there was this Mexican girl who was really hot, but then I found out her name from the schedule and it was the exact same as my mom's name.
Zack: Well, what's your mom's name?
Zack: I guess at least it isn't Blibdoolpoolp.
Steve: How does that help me with my problem?
Zack: There's only one way to help you with that. I tell you what, you get the +2 or better weapon and I'll get the drawn butter.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.