Steve: Whoa, my boner doesn't know what to do!
Zack: I bet Blibdoolpoolp doesn't practice the best hygiene on her 20' tall lady parts. Zebra mussels and diatoms and shit falling out of there like a bad Christmas stocking.
Steve: Seriously, this is causing me issues.
Zack: It does say one of her special attacks is "Insanity."
Steve: It's like this one time at work there was this Mexican girl who was really hot, but then I found out her name from the schedule and it was the exact same as my mom's name.
Zack: Well, what's your mom's name?
Zack: I guess at least it isn't Blibdoolpoolp.
Steve: How does that help me with my problem?
Zack: There's only one way to help you with that. I tell you what, you get the +2 or better weapon and I'll get the drawn butter.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.