Zack: I doubt you're going to walk away from a conversation with a lynx feeling like you learned something.

Steve: It says "very" intelligent. That's smarter than the average human.

Zack: I don't buy it. If the lynx was so smart he would be half crazy from doing nothing all day. You wouldn't want to talk to him.

Steve: How do you know he does nothing all day? Maybe he keeps busy.

Zack: Doing what? He doesn't have any opposable thumbs.

Steve: So?

Zack: He couldn't have built a civilization. He's a brain smarter than the average human trapped in a huge cat's body. He's not going to be well mentally from just sitting on a cliff all day waiting for some bug-eyed goofs like this bunch to walk up and interrogate him.

Steve: Maybe he lives with someone. Watches their TV all day. Has them open jars for him. Maybe he has a girlfriend.

Zack: The lynx has a girlfriend?

Steve: Could be. He used his superior intelligence to seduce her.

Zack: How did he even get near her? He's a giant wild animal.

Steve: Maybe he pretended to be hurt and when she brought him a bandage he seduced her.

Zack: No, she wouldn't. A giant lynx is dangerous.

Steve: Women like dangerous men. The lynx could have treated her badly.

Zack: Are you still on that mailing list?

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.

Suggested Articles

502 Bad Gateway

502 Bad Gateway


nginx/1.10.1
502 Bad Gateway

502 Bad Gateway


nginx/1.10.1
502 Bad Gateway

502 Bad Gateway


nginx/1.10.1

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.

502 Bad Gateway

502 Bad Gateway


nginx/1.10.1