Zack: Steve, this is too much to cover in one article. We need to save part two for Friday.
Steve: Am I going to get paid double?
Zack: We don't pay you anything.
Steve: That's not fair.
Zack: I wanted to thank you, though. I know you've been busy with bagging salad, but it means a lot to have a D&D expert like you involved in a project like this.
Steve: It's no problem, someone has to be here to stick up for D&D.
Zack: That's not the point. We're supposed to make fun of the dumb monsters.
Steve: Yeah, but you were picking useful ones, like the Lurker. Next time pick something like the Brain Mole.
Zack: Aaand you just ruined Friday's big surprise.
Steve: Oh, I'm sorry! Were we going to do the brain mole?
Zack: Yes. And now we can't. Thanks, Steve.
Steve: I'm sorry!
Zack: I knew I should have convinced Thorpe that it would be worth it to spend a whole night talking about Dungeons & Dragons.
Steve: Can I come back for Friday?
Zack: Yes, you just won't be talking about the Brain Mole.
Zack: You ruined the Brain Mole! No Brain Mole!
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.