TSR Doesn't Understand the Ocean

The Monster Manual contains a variety of marine life, both real and mythological. Mermen and Tritons share the page with sharks and sea turtles. There is a third category of sea creature covered by the Monster Manual. These monsters are very loosely based on real creatures, but they share pun-infested waters with catfish chasing mice and manta rayguns. These are dangerous waters, but waters the authors at TSR were always willing to traverse.

Zack: Do I need to say it? A seahorse is not a horse living in the sea.

Steve: It sort of looks like a horse.

Zack: Hence the name, but you can't ride one around or feed it a carrot. You can't train a seahorse anymore than you can train a lobster.

Steve: I saw a picture of a crab smoking a cigarette.

Zack: Smoking or holding?

Steve: It wasn't to its lips if that's what you mean. It was holding it in its claw. Let me look on search and see if I can find the picture.

Steve: Oh, wait, here I found a video and it puts the cigarette up to its lips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbfFrVoc-gY

Zack: I don't even know how to argue with any of this. Crabs don't even have lips!

Steve: It looks like there are a whole bunch of videos of crabs smoking. It must be a real problem. They must do it naturally when they find cigarettes.

Zack: Can we at least agree that Hippocampus is a stupid name?

Steve: Yeah, this looks nothing like a hippo.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.