Steve: I don't feel like you've fully bought into Acererak being a huge asshole yet.

Zack: No, I get it.

Steve: No, I don't think you do. I don't think anyone can who hasn't played this module. But let me do a little experiment with you. Is that cool?

Zack: Yeah, go for it.

Steve: Okay, you and your brave adventurers have managed to see through an illusion and find a secret passage. It dead ends, but then you search and find another secret door.

Zack: Riddles wrapped in enigmas.

Steve: Yeah, right, so you and your brave adventurers step into a chamber and find three chests. One is gold, one is silver, and one is made from wood. They look like this:



Zack: Hell yeah! Treasure time! Okay, the bard is worthless. I'll have him open the gold chest.

Steve: Bards rule, don't be ridiculous. But, okay, the bard creeps forward and opens the gold chest. And...



Zack: Ah! Snakes!

Steve: Asps, with deadly venom! The bard has sung his last!

Zack: Okay, right, my wizard is going to detect magic on the silver chest.

Steve: Nothing.

Zack: He'll open it.

Steve: He opens the chest and...



Zack: Darts!

Steve: No saving throw, d6 damage each! That's bad news for a wizard.

Zack: Okay, I'm not falling for this again. The wood chest has to be okay, but the thief will check for traps.

Steve: Nada.

Zack: Okay, the thief opens the chest!

Steve: Suck it, giant magic skeleton teleports out of the chest!



Zack: What!? No, you're making this up!

Steve: Nope, and it says after he teleports he always attacks first. Your thief is chopped up.

Zack: Damn you, Steve!

Steve: Don't damn me, damn the guy who puts three trapped chests behind two secret doors. Blame Acererak, the hugest asshole ever.


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