Zack:"Alas, poor Jordan. I knew him well."
Dr. Thorpe:"How the hell did this get in my butt!?"
Zack:Maybe he's watching that Gaudy Arabian war vet guy fight the tarantula on his carpet.
Dr. Thorpe:It's gotta be a tough call whether or not to use his $120 shoe to smash that tarantula.
Zack:In six months time that white hat is going to be hanging next to that visor on the back wall. Then he'll be wearing a bright orange top hat and contemplating his 150 dollar shoes.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.