From: Small Wang
Subject: hey

your page isn't that bad but i think you need to talk
less about software and more about games or something.

joe

okeys Smarty Man whatevar yuo say!!! I guess gammes arent software any more I guess theyre soem kind of dinner mint or something but WHATEVAR I WILL TALK ABOUT GAMES NOW!!! HEAR ARE SOEM GAMES:

PAINTY MAX

INDEPENTDANT WARS 2

PROJECT EATIN'

SOME GAME BY THOSE GUYS WHO MADE THAT OTHAR GAME THAT NOBODY BAUGHT AND NOBOEDY WILL BUY THES ONE EITHAR

CATTLECRUSAR MIILINEEUM!! 3000 AD BC SQUARDED! A DEREK SMART PRODUCTIAN BY DERAK SMART!!!

I wont palay any of those game but maybe my dad will buy Dereak Smarts Cattlecruisar Millinemeium 4000 BS game because my dad buys stuff that are crap liek spare tires and betamax! Derak Smarty man maekes vary complicated games that nobody undarstands because thats his PHENONIMINAL BUSINESS MODEL!!! also he just codes random things and he hoepes taht everything turns out for teh bettar but it nevar does so Derak gets mad and goes on teh Intarnet to yell at 12 year olds who ask if Derak's next game will support advanced hardware liek monitors or keyboards. then he says to them:

DEAR LUNKHEAD!!!!

THIS SI DERRAK SMART SPACE COMMANDAR OF SPACE! YUO ARE A GERM AND I ANNIALATE GERMS WITH MY SKULL ATTACK LASSER BEAMS! TEH EMALE YUO WROTE ME WAS PURE TRIBBAL AND I SHOTS MY MOUTH OFF IN YUO!!! HAR HAR HAR!! YUOR IQ IS LESS THAN MY PASTRY SCOOP YUO OBTUSE SHENANIGAN! I AM DERAK SMARTS AND YUO ARE A WELFAR MOTHAR WITH KITTENS IN HER KABOODLE AND IM GOING TO ANNIALATE YUO FROM MY SPACE LAIRE!!! IN TEH TIEM IT TOOK ME TOO WRITE THIS SCARTHING REPLY I COULDVE FINISHED CODEING 1200 MORE GAMES ABOUT SITTING IN SPACE AND STRETCHING ONE 15 PIXEL TEXTURE OVER 50000 MILES OF PLANAT SURFACE! BUT INSTEAD YUO WASTED MY TIME AND IM GOING TO HUNT YUO DOWN AND SUE YUO FOR GROSS NATIONAL PRODUCT NEGLICANCE SLANDER LIBBEL COPYRIGHT REFRIDGEMENT LAWS!!! I AM A MEMBAR OF MESNA AND MY SKULL CONTAINS WACKY SECREATS!!!

BEGONE PLEASANT!!!

DR. DERAK SMART PHUD SR II ESQ
SMARTAR THAN YUOR AVARAGE BEE

And thats why yuo should buy his gaem! Exluciseve release at Eleectronics Boutiqckue, which also sells such fune qualiety products liek TONY HONK: FIGURE SKATAR 3 and ARMY MEN ARE GOING TOO EAT YUOR HAIR!!! so save up yuor moneys and buy thes Derak Smart game or hell personaley come ovar too yuor house and STEAL YUOR FURNITARE!!!!!

From: Francois Tremblay
Subject: lettre prospectus

Hi! How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

AARGH DONT YUO JUST READ WHAT A SAID YUO STUPED GERMAN CREAP?!? I CANT OPEN UP EMALE ATACHMENTS BECAUSE MY CONTROL KEYS DOSANT WORK AND IM JUST ABOUT TO CRUSH YUOR SPINE IF YUO DONT STOP SENDING ME EMALES, YUO MALICIOUS FROGHOPPER!!!

From: [email protected]
Subject: hi man!

Hey do you live in Santa Monica? Cus I Will maybe go there during this summer. If so have you been to Old Star SkateShop? It's awesome, pro's cum like everyday. Hey how did you get to be so cool anyway? Ive always wanted to be cool like you but no one gives me a chance :( ecpecially after i pooped in my pants in 5th grade (I HAD TO GO!) and I am not in 7th. How old/What grade are you in? Man i wish I could be like you, can you give me some pointers? :D peace out my homedawg s.a vato puta og ganger banger wanger foo coo nigga wha?! peace

SHUT UP FAGOT

From: Charlie Lienhart
Subject: 10 ways to comb pubic hair

ok that was just to get your attention;

Wow I really like SA, except for you. Good god you must be a geek. Everytime i read your mail bag I crack up at your constant bad spelling and juvenile humor.Either you need a Hooked on Phonics course or "Intro to typing" class. Keep up the good work! The world needs more morons like yourself!

wft is SA???? I PLAY COUNTARSTRIEK NOT SA YUO MEAT CLEVER!!! And I am not a geek!!! I am a jornalist of teh gameing persuasian just liek yuor a man of the fagot persusasian. as for I needed a "HOOKED ON PHONICS" book and "Intro to Typing", WOW, yuor sure are wittey GRANDMA!!!!. I DONT GET 10000 EMALES LIEK THAT EVARY DAY!!! YUO should join teh programing TV programing team for ABC televisian because yuo have YUOR FINGAR ON TEH PULSE OF TEH BRAVE NEW WORALD, SHITFARMER SHOCKFUCK!!! I hope yuor buddies think yuore mistar smarty man for saying "OH HO JEFF K'S GRAMMAR SI BAD AND HE DOSEANT SPEL EVARY SINGAL WORD CORECTCLY!" becuase at thes point and tiem I see myself smashing yuor head with a BOOK OF PHONIEX!!! how irronic/1

From: Barb Ritchie
Subject: Departing the beautiful

Hi! How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

AAARGH NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE I HATE YUO

GODBYE!!!

JEFF K!!!!!

– Jeff K.

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