Jeff K.'s weekly column, appropriately entitled "Ask Jeff K.", deals with all the issues that affect all hardcore gamers and l33t haX0rs out there. If you have a question you'd like to ask, feel free to mail it in. Every letter printed here is in fact real and has actually been sent to Jeff; not a single email has been fabricated or created by the staff.

Let me repeat that again for the sake of emphasis: All of these emails have really been submitted to Jeff K. by real people and have NOT been made up or forged in any way.

WELL its been a LONG TIEM sence I updated my HIGH QUALAIETEY COLAUMN about teh ins and outs of teh gameing industry and teh large creatins that lie within (GABE NEWVELL!!!!!!)!!!! so I decieded to updates my colaumn once againe because I had soem free tiem tooday! My mom told me too rake teh lawn but I said "YUO KNOW WHAT MOM? I'M A HUMAN TOO AND I HAVE EQUAL AMENDMENTS SO IM NOT YOUR SLAVE !!!!" and I ran to my room and slamed the door! KIDS HAEV RIGHTS TOO and I'll show my mom becuase I will grow up and make a lots of MONEYS reveiwing games and palaying Quaek liek my friend Dennis "THREASH" Fong who owns his own company whitch fires peoepal professionally! Threash made Gammars.com which was a siet for hardcore peopal with brackets in there name liek "nUnK1ll3R {ZuG}" or "JeRRy {FAGOT}". I WILL PUT BRACKETS IN MY NAME SO I CAN FIRE PEOPAL LIEK THREASH TOO! FROM NOW ON MY NAME SI:

JEFFK{JEFFK}

WOWOWOWOWWOW!!! MY BUSNESS WILL BE NUMBAR ONE WITH A BULLAT LIEK THREASH'S!!! OOPS I MEANT "NUMBAR ONE FAILED COMPANEY IN CALIFRONIA" !!! ON THE WITH TEH TEHHTE THE LETTARS!!!

From: Jon
Subject: speech 00

Hi! How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

Thank yuo for teh chance for me to spew my wisdome on yuo, but I CANNOT OPEN EMALE ATACHMENTS WITH OUTLOOK EXPRESSED!!! I dont know how and teh last tiem I opened up an emale from OUTLOOK EXPRESSED it was a danceing girl and I laughed but when I tryed to shuts it down it opened again and then a window oppened and it said "GAMBLE ONLIEN" and I cant gambal becuase last tiem I gamballed I lose 190 RUPIES!!!!

so thank yuo for sendineg me a fiel for me to look at but Im sorrey I cant figare out how too open it becuase my computar si a PACKARD BELL and PACKARD BELL isant excatly a symbol of QUALETY!!!ONE DAY I WILL MAKE MY OWN COMPUTAR ONCE I FIND ENOUGH WIRES AND BATERIES!!!ENGUGH!!!


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