Last week I wrote an update discussing the problem of people cashing in on the World Trade Center disaster via patriotic merchandise sales. This article was meant to in no way disrespect the tragedy of September 11th and yet there were many morons who read my update and just didn't get it. As a result I received many tasteful emails regarding my subject choice. I thought I'd share a few of them with you today because they are simply hilarious, albeit very depressing. USA!

NOTE:THESE ARE ACTUAL LETTERS SENT TO ME!


I have only been writing for the front page for a couple of months and I only update on Saturdays, but I am nevertheless amazed at the number of email responses I get from people each week. Usually this email is supportive and it is without fail entertaining. This includes the flames which tend to be variants on "OMG You are a girl get back in the kitchen and leave the writing to the boyz!" Unfortunately, with my last update, the flame email I received represented the lowest common denominator of Something Awful readers and seriously caused me to doubt that natural selection has been in any way successful.

This first one is my personal favorite:

From:[email protected]
Subject: September 11, attacks

I appreciate you posting for somethingawful.com, I do go to that site alot, however, I find your post lacking. I really think you took criticizing
people who jump on a bandwagon too far. So what about those people? I don't care for them except for the fact they're Americans. I have always been on my country's side, always! I think who you should have been writing about was the core, not the outskirts of American supportists.

PS. I hope I am the first to kill you if you ever take up arms or support
against the USA. Quit trying to be funny.

Piss off,
Andrew

Well, as far as I know, Stupid, the "core of American supportists" has been deluged with commercials for American logo garbage since September 11th because the companies that are manufacturing this stuff know that they can make a shitload of money off of the public's grief and desire to show public support. I am not sure what me mentioning this trend has to do with my taking up arms against the United States, but I am sure that you need to earn yourself some basic reading comprehension and take a good look around you. Being a moronic reactionary such as your fine self only proves that the human race has one more person to purge on the way to a brilliant, Utopian future complete with flying cars and personal jet packs.

Another gem:

From:[email protected]
Subject: Always Remember, Never Forget

hey. i'm not going to go all holier-than-thou, you-are-hellspawn righteous on you, but you did cross the line with that article. i know something awful is just a humor site, i've been a daily reader for over a year, and i've seen articles that have plunged even further into bad taste than yours. i didn't lose anyone in the towers, i don't know anyone who did, but there were thousands of people killed. would the article still be funny if you had lost a brother, father, or fiancé?

so yeah. i know you had a cool message underneath, people desacrating Pearl Harbor for their own monetary gain and all that, but y'know, a humor site ripping off a tragedy for a few laughs isn't too tasteful either.

tyler

Bad taste? I think that it just might be bad taste to sell USA pins and shirts and plates and flags etc. knowing that gullible fools are going to scarf them up like a Weight Watchers member at the Old Country Buffet. Yeah, my "cool message" was that I wish that the world could be rid of fine, upsatnding patriots like you and then I will finally be able to write an anti-US humor article and milk that whole silly WTC thing for all the jokes it's worth MUAH HAHAHAHAHA! USA! USA USA!

Excuse me one second, please.

USA! USA USA! USA!

Thanks.

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