Star Wars and Unicorns, submitted by me. One brave soul, who was never probably ever molested as a child, has come fourth to reveal the shocking truth: the Jedi, the ancient white knights of the Republic, are a lot like unicorns. I suppose yeah, it makes sense. Jedi carry lightsabers and jump around and stuff, and unicorns are horses with one horn. I guess the point is that both the Jedi and unicorns are long extinct, even though they live on in the hearts of people who put too much stock into goofy fantasies.
On this lovely site you'll find comparisons between Star Wars and some kind of unicorn-fancying book, which both happen to share a remarkably similar theme of good versus evil. What's really worth applauding is the fact that whoever authored this disastrous site managed to do so with using almost no plain text. Instead, we are greeted with giant 100k+ images featuring some ugly font with an even uglier pink drop shadow. Way to innovate the genre!
The best part is that this site has opened up a whole new world of mockery for me. I knew we had dastardly furries, uncouth ravers, and fiendish goths, but I never knew there was a whole lousy subculture dedicated to replacing the empty space vacated by an abusive parent or guardian with unicorns. Hot diggity dog!
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.