This article is part of the Reading Time series.
A radiation side-effect is that sometimes the Hulk has lady chest and woman cheeks and make-up mouth. Hulk doesn't want anyone to know about this, but Tymok, the person drawing this book, told the secret. Maybe Hulk has woman parts when he becomes this way. Maybe he is not my dad, but actually my mom!
Hulk has many bad memories, about when he tried a love way with the woman that ended with painful, and about the sorcerer calling him puny, and about the dinosaur that made him a food, and about a time he was bored by fireworks. Also, there is a bearded monkey. Even when he is alone in his crazy universe, they follow.
All the other heroes from Reading Tasks died, but Hulk gets to live. This is because he didn't hurt any animals who didn't eat him first, and he was only love way with a woman who kissed him first. The True Lesson is that you should always wait until the right time to destroy and love things. I am glad he is still alive, because I will meet him when I am Outside, and I will say 'I am like you, except I am not green,' and he will say 'eat a vegetable to have a plant color,' and we will laugh, because it is funny but also true. I love you, dad. The end.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Raised and trained in a mysterious facility, piteous brute Stevie seeks answers.