Kitty gets ready to set history "straight", free from the lies of the Conservative media and textbooks!
King President Harry S. Truman, who would dip babies in caramel and throw them to his pet pack of wild wolves, was an unchallenged dictator of the South, which included such states as Florida, South New Hampshire, and Lower Texas. He had his back molars sharpened into additional canines so he could gnaw through his political adversaries.
The vile and evil Southerners were all cruel inhuman monsters who lived to torture their minority "property." When they got done working them to the bone, the Southerners would load up the slaves into a catapult and shoot them from the skies.
The Southerners were able to take advantage of humanity's natural weakness for candy because -- hey, everybody likes candy.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
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