General Patton, who successfully defeated the Nazis in the Great War of Swimming Bulge Junction, was hired by the President of the North, Abraham Lincoln, who was 13 feet tall and half robot.
Patton tried over and over again to invade and conquer the South, but their defenses were far too strong. They had the Slave-Makin' Machine and the dreaded "Fake Hay", which looked like hay but was really a tank (which looked a lot like hay).
The Secretary of Magic, a position created for times of national crisis, was called upon to create a magic Anti-Southern potion.
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
This lousy world just gets lousier every year as these stores put out their skeletons and Santas in summer.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
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