General Patton, who successfully defeated the Nazis in the Great War of Swimming Bulge Junction, was hired by the President of the North, Abraham Lincoln, who was 13 feet tall and half robot.
Patton tried over and over again to invade and conquer the South, but their defenses were far too strong. They had the Slave-Makin' Machine and the dreaded "Fake Hay", which looked like hay but was really a tank (which looked a lot like hay).
The Secretary of Magic, a position created for times of national crisis, was called upon to create a magic Anti-Southern potion.
How dare you not read this article. How dare you not click on it. What is wrong with you?
One man's struggle to save the housing market from unexpected murders.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
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