General Patton, who successfully defeated the Nazis in the Great War of Swimming Bulge Junction, was hired by the President of the North, Abraham Lincoln, who was 13 feet tall and half robot.
Patton tried over and over again to invade and conquer the South, but their defenses were far too strong. They had the Slave-Makin' Machine and the dreaded "Fake Hay", which looked like hay but was really a tank (which looked a lot like hay).
The Secretary of Magic, a position created for times of national crisis, was called upon to create a magic Anti-Southern potion.
[sauntering up to joss whedon giving magazine interview] Hey are these guys bothering you
Internment Camp Queens Caught Scamming Extra Servings Of Water And Laying Around All Day In Government-Provided Housing
Two wonderful new games let you jump into meat grinders and walk into cactii.
Ben Garrison's Cartoons explained; Part 2!
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