General Patton, who successfully defeated the Nazis in the Great War of Swimming Bulge Junction, was hired by the President of the North, Abraham Lincoln, who was 13 feet tall and half robot.
Patton tried over and over again to invade and conquer the South, but their defenses were far too strong. They had the Slave-Makin' Machine and the dreaded "Fake Hay", which looked like hay but was really a tank (which looked a lot like hay).
The Secretary of Magic, a position created for times of national crisis, was called upon to create a magic Anti-Southern potion.
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
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