CHAPTER FOUR - I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T REALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING OFFENSIVE ENOUGH TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT BANNED
Brad and Gordon started to molest that handicapped dwarf that's always on the Freeport pier. Frumpy Gazzlegog or whatever the hell his name is. After pulling up their pants, they drank each other's pee and promoted the Nazi regime. Then they beat up a Ukrainian, because as everybody knows, all Ukrainians smell terrible and are very stupid. If you play Everquest, you will become sterile and probably get a terrible disease which will cause your face to wrinkle up and wither like a dead leaf. Sony kills babies and dumps them into the creek behind their CD replication factory. Verant is making an upcoming online RPG entitled, "3D Bukake Wars 2000". I once saw Andrew S. Zaffron, who is the "General Counsel of Sony Online Entertainment", having sex with a woman that wasn't his wife. If he is not married, then I saw him having sex with somebody else's wife. I did a review of Everquest and gave it a -238828937 rating.
PS: SOMEBODY PLEASE BAN MY ACCOUNT OR I WILL HAVE TO KEEP WRITING THESE DAMN STORIES, SOMETHING NEITHER OF US WANTS.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.