CHAPTER FOUR - I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T REALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING OFFENSIVE ENOUGH TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT BANNED
Brad and Gordon started to molest that handicapped dwarf that's always on the Freeport pier. Frumpy Gazzlegog or whatever the hell his name is. After pulling up their pants, they drank each other's pee and promoted the Nazi regime. Then they beat up a Ukrainian, because as everybody knows, all Ukrainians smell terrible and are very stupid. If you play Everquest, you will become sterile and probably get a terrible disease which will cause your face to wrinkle up and wither like a dead leaf. Sony kills babies and dumps them into the creek behind their CD replication factory. Verant is making an upcoming online RPG entitled, "3D Bukake Wars 2000". I once saw Andrew S. Zaffron, who is the "General Counsel of Sony Online Entertainment", having sex with a woman that wasn't his wife. If he is not married, then I saw him having sex with somebody else's wife. I did a review of Everquest and gave it a -238828937 rating.
PS: SOMEBODY PLEASE BAN MY ACCOUNT OR I WILL HAVE TO KEEP WRITING THESE DAMN STORIES, SOMETHING NEITHER OF US WANTS.
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
Hungry? Try looking around for a little something called ASTRONAUT FOOD. Or you can hold out until you get to Pluto and look for some berries... if you want to starve to death!
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.