Epilogue - Thrust and TwirlThe pencil slides in and out of her hot, wet, ear canal.The next day the erotic exchange continued the minute Dari entered the classroom. Miss Tokyomama sat at her desk, talking distractedly about chemistry, her eyes locked with Dari's. She picked up a pencil and sharpened in slowly, licking her lips as she did so. Then, with a gentle thrusting motion, she pushed it into her ear canal searching out tenacious wax deposits. In and out the pencil slid, thrust and twirl, the eraser widened her ear canal as it pumped like a number two oil derrick.
Dari couldn't take it anymore, a fountain of semen burst forth from his groin like a Biblical flood with such force that it pinned his desk to the ceiling. Blood sprayed from his nose, joining the torrent and coating the ceiling in a mixture so vile that only the Japanese could find it erotic.
"Mr. Armostrongo!" cried Miss Tokyomama with mock outrage, "you will have to stay after school today for a private conference!"
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.