That's when I took him into a field full of wild wolves which murdered him.
I immediately blamed ilita for our demise, claiming the wolves were "attracted to jerks." This seemed to confused poor ilita, but since I hate him and I hate this game, I really didn't give a shit.
So, in summary, this game is terrible and I hate it. The end.
Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
I highly recommend Windows 10 With Mouse + Keyboard Support Edition
Something Awful reviews the worst video games out there.