This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
DFH: He included this video, too, which, as far as I can tell, has nothing to do with video games or nerd culture.
SH: See, this is fucking awkward. He "busts his gravy"?
DFH: Yeah, I'm kinda convinced that this guy thinks of "nerdcore" as "bad, uncomfortable rap."
SH: Well, I'll tell you what, THIS awkwardly misogynistic song has certainly convinced me to reconsider the validity of nerdcore music.
SH: Oh well, at least it's not bitches, blunts, and bling! Oh wait, it sort of is.
DFH: But with a thick coating of blubber and misery.
SH: Jeeesus this isn't nerdcore, this is bad standup comedy.
DFH: I wish there were a better way to express "potayto potahto" on the Internet.
SH: "ill ron hubbard" jesus fucking christ.
SH: Once again, how is this nerdcore? It's bad and stuff and the name and cover are really nerdy, but this is just generic battle rap. It's like white guys just align themselves with the "nerdcore" tag if they're scared to be judged by the standards of 'real' hip hop. It's a convenient smokescreen for self-conscious nerds that wanna KICK SOME SHIT without being held accountable for actually learning to do it well.
DFH: I count three layers of exoticism here, but if I'm being fair, I might be able to compress the reggaeton and rap parts into one.
SH: hahah yeah, that's true, there is a "reggaeton beat" under a fake mambo song recorded by Rosemary Clooney, recorded by a guy named after a samurai hat with an Anglophile Guy Fawkes album cover.
SH: hahah how many "dr. awkwards" do you think there are in america, hunched over various computers?
DFH: I dunno, but you should really listen to the lyrics on this one, because from what I can gather, it's about dudes who call themselves gamers but are totally posers.
SH: does that happen
DFH: Yeah, some motherfuckers who think that getting Madden every year makes 'em hardcore. Oh, and now he's getting real mad about girls who pretend to be gamers to trick nerds into giving them money.
SH: Oh boy, here's some misogyny with your awkward nerd rap.
DFH: I'm not going to try to whitewash (no pun intended) hip-hop and claim it doesn't get misogynistic as hell, but at least those dudes have interacted with women.
SH: All I have to say about it is that dude's name is Dr. Awkward and he delivers!
SH: Oh well, at least it's not bitches, blunts, and bling!
DFH: Just to sum up this song again: Guy attaches himself to "nerd culture," finds it lacking, tangentially attaches himself to an "othered" culture, writes song about dudes posing as nerds.
SH: It's like an assault on the verisimilitude of people's "identities" when the only apparent barrier to entry in the first place is "buying stuff" and "talking about buying stuff."
DFH: It completely amazes me that dudes have so much faith in a culture that's so fucking empty that they have to steal from other ones to "express" themselves.
SH: GIRL QUIT FRONTIN LIKE YOU'VE BOUGHT A DREAMCAST
DFH: And in what will be the most awkward transition of this session, here's MC Router!
SH: Sounds like Lady Sovereign except somehow more annoying.
SH: Wait a second. This is about the same thing as the last song.
SH: Is there a common thread amongst NERD CULTURE where people actually assume "normal people" want to sneak their way into a scene that consists of people sitting in their living rooms?
DFH: I wasn't aware geek life was under such an attack from popular culture.
SH: Not just geek life, this song is specifically about her living room.
SH: It's about NORMAL PEOPLE invading her living room. MC Router, here is a tip. Get new roommates.
DFH: Choice line: "sippin' on Bacardi like I'm at a rapper party"
SH: "Sippin on Bacardi like i'm a girl that makes raps music but seeks to distance myself from it because i am literally terrified of being perceived as sincere about this ridiculous jungle music."
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!