This dude is probably rapping. You can guess how that sounds.
Most surprises on this tour aren't so pleasant. It wouldn't be Warped if you didn't step on at least one landmine that temporarily destroyed your faith in music and your will to live, and this time that unforeseen explosive was Dirty Heads, a lethal 311//Shwayze hybrid that combines an acoustic-guitar-strumming beach-dude crooner with a sleazy, stringy-haired rapper who banters about his balls. Dirty Heads are like Surf School, the band.
A Skylit Drive brought an air of mystery to the festival, related to whether the thing handling lead vocals was a scrawny man or a husky woman. From a distance, the orange-haired enigma looked and sounded like a burlier version of Paramore's singer. This peculiar man/woman made the "Boner Springs" joke without playing the gender card. Eventually, I decided this was a woman singing. But I just looked it up, and it turns out it was a man all along, a man who goes by "Jag" no less. This was quite a double-reverse mindfuck. Androgynous intrigue aside, the band blew.
The worst thing that's happened to the Warped Tour is the influx of bands that are horrible on purpose. I suppose it's inevitable that genres as inherently ridiculous as emo and metalcore would devolve into straight self-aware comedy. I assume Cash Cash counts itself among the "laugh with us" crowd, because, seriously, look at these fucking guys. Also, they pranced onto the stage accompanied by "Pump Up The Jam," then they played some sort of boy-band jock jams using a keytar, electronic drums and, inexplicably, an acoustic guitar. I'm sure a lot more stupid shit took place during their set, but I left because I'm tired of watching bands who lack the integrity to suck honestly.
Given our society's obsession with stalking and ridiculing celebrities, it's tempting to seek a life of anonymity. But beware: not being famous has its own hidden costs.
Mass Effect: Andromeda turns its nose up at the original trilogy's rigid morality. It boasts a more nuanced and intellectually compelling shades-of-grey approach in which a heart icon pops up when it's time to tell an alien to take their clothes off.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.